Trick or What The Hell is This ??? (break out the TP)

So, I have calmed down enough to tell y'all about my experience Halloween, wait were we going with Xoween or HallowX?
Anywho,  here is what happened!  I was traveling as I sometimes do between the states, passport in hand, and had gone to one of the new states, Kenyatucky (#6 of the newest 57 United States).  There have been a lot of famous expatriots born here whose names end in neat stuff like Islam and Hussiniabad that become famous folk rock singers and what not.  Lots of sand feilds and some of those pretty oasises (although not Jackie).
I stopped at a BP station because I like to keep my American dollars spent with fine US companies whenever I can, and they had all kinds of good stuff to eat in there, like pickled eggs and a fine drink called Ale 8, and sort of pecular looking people.  The man behind the counter had a mullet hair cut and like 2 teeth, that were a funny shade of green.  Then I remember it is HalloX. I bought an egg and an Ale 8.  Told the guy "nice costume", to which he replied "Thank ya, Whut ya mean?"  I continued out the door.  Saw a normal looking lady and asked about Halloween activities (knew she wouldn't understand Xoween). She told me that the White House has a Kenyatucky branch in Farrakhanville, the state capitol.   I was so happy and put on my donkey suit and on my way was I.
I get there and was greeted warmly by some nice Black militants that were more than happy to help.  Went to the front door of the Palace there and said my trick or treat deal.  There was a lady in a Michelle Obama costume who looked at me cross eyed. I thought she was getting attitude, but after the station guy, maybe not?  Got to my car and found my bag full of this dried fruit shit.  WTF?? I want the good stuff, you know, $100 bills and diamonds and stuff.
This is a freakin branch of my man Obama's offices and he would be giving out the good stuff, screw this!  I get out the TP and those nice Black militants grabbed me around the chest and threw me to the ground, before I can get it around the first tree.  I told him my problem and after caressing my breast to heal it (that was not hurt to begin with but I thanked him anyway) he explained that Michelle said that that was what the White house was giving out this year, a healthy snack.  That Bitch.  I am gonna get her and steal her man if it is the last thing I ever do!  Well, enough for now.

God/Allah/Nobody Bless
Libby

Getting Out The Word, Taking Back The Word, Inserting New Word, Whew!

The choice is clear for 2012.  Obama will be here to stay.  He is the world's bestest political strategist, really!  He goes out and is able to call the opposing party the "enemy" and get those who are really a big voting base (I guess) legally, really, um in English on the Latino channel, and go back and say that he maybe should have not said that.  He is great!  Now he has corrected and said opponent, and it is all cool and he is still the President and still so handsome.  He is still loved by all the world and his ability to reach out to others in a language that they will understand is just so great.  This is what makes a great leader, to do a spell check, grammar check, and political snafu check, in hindsight and fix it as if it never happened.  A real American Hero.  Giv'em a Bud!  (And a Newport!)

Referenced Story Here

God/Allah/Nobody Bless
Libby

Kay Sara Sara! Anywho, We'll be!

My Mom was telling me today about how she does not have any idea how to vote.  I told her, um, ya go down to the poll (make sure it's not the chicken place), you tell them who you are and they will give you a ballot.  She looked at me like I was crazy and told me she knew that but didn't know who to vote for or why to vote the way that I do.  I said oh... and suggested that she vote along liberal party line and just Christmas tree the rest, sorry X-mas tree the rest (old habits ya know).  Again, I got the look like I was a retard,oops (mentally challenger).  Well we talked a while and after we looked up the candidates, she decided that she was probably going to vote the other way.  I really do not know of another way at this point in the game, I mean, too late to vote absentee or mail in, so she is on her own there.  I am pretty sure she is going to vote for liberals, because she said that I have that all covered and she was going to do the right thing.  Go Mama.  O Bama.  Wow, this Obama thing keeps getting more and more peaceful.   Well, gotta pick out a pretty Blue thong for voters tomorrow to admire as the support the Liberal cause, and nor matter who wins, Kay Sara will be happy!


God/Allah/Nobody Bless
Libby

I'll Take a Democrat and a Side of Fries to Go

I went out to vote today, like the good liberal that I am, and was amazed that there were so many people there standing in line for early voting.  It was really weird for me because I thought you couldn't talk politics at the poll.  So, I am there in line, waiting with all the other people listening and got more opinions than I wanted to, to tell you the truth.  People were talking about Glenn Beck (who is not running for office) and that witch woman.  I heard people talking about gays in the military, and well, the football games and the weather, all sorts of conversations. Now I have been waiting in the line for quite a while, it is stretched outside the door for about half way around the building, and moving pretty slow.  I finally get to the front of the line and tell the lady there that I am registered democrat and can't wait to do my part to keep the nation free!  She looked at me quite matter of factly and said "That is nice sweetie, but are you ordering Chicken or what?"  I looked down at the sign in front of me and saw I was not at the poll, but at Pollette's Chicken and Waffles.  What a damn waste of an afternoon.

God/Allah/Nobody Bless
Libby

"The Progressive Witch Project"

In the spirit of Halloween and all things evil, I decided to share a little story with you from my Libby's Special Book of Stories and All Things Fabulous. Hopefully, this will shake up your bones and get you in the festive mood.

August, 2010

In a small Delaware town, Mike Castle and some of his most beloved Liberal friends are on a camping trip.  It is a particularly dark night, and to make sure no one forgot what each other looked like, they all had to keep flash lights aimed at their faces.  Most of them had overactive mucus glands, so it was easy to follow them using the snot trail. This particular trip was planned so they could come up with ideas to make sure they can keep... make sure Democrats can maintain power in Washington, but Evil was afoot, and it was in the form of a 5'2" (Non-Constitution) knowing Witch.  The radicals were busy drinking tea, and the tea leaves in the cup predicted an upset was afoot, but no one warned poor Mr. Castle.

The band of friends were sitting around telling political ghost stories of Oval Office Blow Jobs, and failed Peanut Farmer's military rescues (shutter), when all of the sudden they heard in a distance "Yes we can!  Yes we can!.  This could not be resisted by any of Mike's friends, and they (in a zombie-like stupor) went out with their flashlight lit faces, into the darkness to follow the sound.  Mike yells at them , "No, those woods are dangerous, and more importantly, I am scared to be left alone!"  Not known for listening to sound advice and being the stubborn little Lib's that they are, the band of buds ignored Mike and went into the woods anyway to meet their demise.

None of the friends were able to see where they were going, since none of them had an extra flashlight to use on the ground. They wandered aimlessly about feeling the trees for guidance, stumbling, bumbling, and often scaring one another as each one turned and caught a glimpse of the others flash-lit face.  This went on for hours which provided the diversion for the true evil of the forest to do her job. A voice echoed in the distance... Mwaaahahahahahahahaha!

Mike sat alone in the darkness, flashlight illuminating his nostrils. Fresh mucus dripping from the tip of his nose glowed in brilliance as it hung seemingly defying gravity and resembling that stuff that they put on credit cards when they mail them to people to stick to the paper. I think it is called boogers? Shaking almost to the point of convulsion, he was getting very tired. This state of vulnerability is where Mme Christine O'Donnell -the evil witch- wanted her powerful opponent to be.

"Mwaahahahahaha! So, I have found you alone, weak and vulnerable, with a snot ball hanging from the end of you nose. This is just where I wanted you. There is a devils alter just around the bend in the river, and we can go over there and make out, but I want you to lose the primary to me."  "Never" replied the noble and honest hero.
O'Donnell told him that was just what she expected and cast a spell on him chanting the words, "Obamacare kills, Obamacare kills" and poof, she walked away because she gave up witchcraft and had to turn in her broom.

Soon after this,  there was a Primary Election that Christine O'Donnell won as the Republican candidate.  That is when the nightmare began!  Mwaaahahahahahahahahaha!


God/Allah/Nobody Bless
Libby