Thursday, October 28, 2010

"The Progressive Witch Project"

In the spirit of Halloween and all things evil, I decided to share a little story with you from my Libby's Special Book of Stories and All Things Fabulous. Hopefully, this will shake up your bones and get you in the festive mood.

August, 2010

In a small Delaware town, Mike Castle and some of his most beloved Liberal friends are on a camping trip.  It is a particularly dark night, and to make sure no one forgot what each other looked like, they all had to keep flash lights aimed at their faces.  Most of them had overactive mucus glands, so it was easy to follow them using the snot trail. This particular trip was planned so they could come up with ideas to make sure they can keep... make sure Democrats can maintain power in Washington, but Evil was afoot, and it was in the form of a 5'2" (Non-Constitution) knowing Witch.  The radicals were busy drinking tea, and the tea leaves in the cup predicted an upset was afoot, but no one warned poor Mr. Castle.

The band of friends were sitting around telling political ghost stories of Oval Office Blow Jobs, and failed Peanut Farmer's military rescues (shutter), when all of the sudden they heard in a distance "Yes we can!  Yes we can!.  This could not be resisted by any of Mike's friends, and they (in a zombie-like stupor) went out with their flashlight lit faces, into the darkness to follow the sound.  Mike yells at them , "No, those woods are dangerous, and more importantly, I am scared to be left alone!"  Not known for listening to sound advice and being the stubborn little Lib's that they are, the band of buds ignored Mike and went into the woods anyway to meet their demise.

None of the friends were able to see where they were going, since none of them had an extra flashlight to use on the ground. They wandered aimlessly about feeling the trees for guidance, stumbling, bumbling, and often scaring one another as each one turned and caught a glimpse of the others flash-lit face.  This went on for hours which provided the diversion for the true evil of the forest to do her job. A voice echoed in the distance... Mwaaahahahahahahahaha!

Mike sat alone in the darkness, flashlight illuminating his nostrils. Fresh mucus dripping from the tip of his nose glowed in brilliance as it hung seemingly defying gravity and resembling that stuff that they put on credit cards when they mail them to people to stick to the paper. I think it is called boogers? Shaking almost to the point of convulsion, he was getting very tired. This state of vulnerability is where Mme Christine O'Donnell -the evil witch- wanted her powerful opponent to be.

"Mwaahahahahaha! So, I have found you alone, weak and vulnerable, with a snot ball hanging from the end of you nose. This is just where I wanted you. There is a devils alter just around the bend in the river, and we can go over there and make out, but I want you to lose the primary to me."  "Never" replied the noble and honest hero.
O'Donnell told him that was just what she expected and cast a spell on him chanting the words, "Obamacare kills, Obamacare kills" and poof, she walked away because she gave up witchcraft and had to turn in her broom.

Soon after this,  there was a Primary Election that Christine O'Donnell won as the Republican candidate.  That is when the nightmare began!  Mwaaahahahahahahahahaha!


God/Allah/Nobody Bless
Libby

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