Trick or What The Hell is This ??? (break out the TP)

So, I have calmed down enough to tell y'all about my experience Halloween, wait were we going with Xoween or HallowX?
Anywho,  here is what happened!  I was traveling as I sometimes do between the states, passport in hand, and had gone to one of the new states, Kenyatucky (#6 of the newest 57 United States).  There have been a lot of famous expatriots born here whose names end in neat stuff like Islam and Hussiniabad that become famous folk rock singers and what not.  Lots of sand feilds and some of those pretty oasises (although not Jackie).
I stopped at a BP station because I like to keep my American dollars spent with fine US companies whenever I can, and they had all kinds of good stuff to eat in there, like pickled eggs and a fine drink called Ale 8, and sort of pecular looking people.  The man behind the counter had a mullet hair cut and like 2 teeth, that were a funny shade of green.  Then I remember it is HalloX. I bought an egg and an Ale 8.  Told the guy "nice costume", to which he replied "Thank ya, Whut ya mean?"  I continued out the door.  Saw a normal looking lady and asked about Halloween activities (knew she wouldn't understand Xoween). She told me that the White House has a Kenyatucky branch in Farrakhanville, the state capitol.   I was so happy and put on my donkey suit and on my way was I.
I get there and was greeted warmly by some nice Black militants that were more than happy to help.  Went to the front door of the Palace there and said my trick or treat deal.  There was a lady in a Michelle Obama costume who looked at me cross eyed. I thought she was getting attitude, but after the station guy, maybe not?  Got to my car and found my bag full of this dried fruit shit.  WTF?? I want the good stuff, you know, $100 bills and diamonds and stuff.
This is a freakin branch of my man Obama's offices and he would be giving out the good stuff, screw this!  I get out the TP and those nice Black militants grabbed me around the chest and threw me to the ground, before I can get it around the first tree.  I told him my problem and after caressing my breast to heal it (that was not hurt to begin with but I thanked him anyway) he explained that Michelle said that that was what the White house was giving out this year, a healthy snack.  That Bitch.  I am gonna get her and steal her man if it is the last thing I ever do!  Well, enough for now.

God/Allah/Nobody Bless
Libby

"The Progressive Witch Project"

In the spirit of Halloween and all things evil, I decided to share a little story with you from my Libby's Special Book of Stories and All Things Fabulous. Hopefully, this will shake up your bones and get you in the festive mood.

August, 2010

In a small Delaware town, Mike Castle and some of his most beloved Liberal friends are on a camping trip.  It is a particularly dark night, and to make sure no one forgot what each other looked like, they all had to keep flash lights aimed at their faces.  Most of them had overactive mucus glands, so it was easy to follow them using the snot trail. This particular trip was planned so they could come up with ideas to make sure they can keep... make sure Democrats can maintain power in Washington, but Evil was afoot, and it was in the form of a 5'2" (Non-Constitution) knowing Witch.  The radicals were busy drinking tea, and the tea leaves in the cup predicted an upset was afoot, but no one warned poor Mr. Castle.

The band of friends were sitting around telling political ghost stories of Oval Office Blow Jobs, and failed Peanut Farmer's military rescues (shutter), when all of the sudden they heard in a distance "Yes we can!  Yes we can!.  This could not be resisted by any of Mike's friends, and they (in a zombie-like stupor) went out with their flashlight lit faces, into the darkness to follow the sound.  Mike yells at them , "No, those woods are dangerous, and more importantly, I am scared to be left alone!"  Not known for listening to sound advice and being the stubborn little Lib's that they are, the band of buds ignored Mike and went into the woods anyway to meet their demise.

None of the friends were able to see where they were going, since none of them had an extra flashlight to use on the ground. They wandered aimlessly about feeling the trees for guidance, stumbling, bumbling, and often scaring one another as each one turned and caught a glimpse of the others flash-lit face.  This went on for hours which provided the diversion for the true evil of the forest to do her job. A voice echoed in the distance... Mwaaahahahahahahahaha!

Mike sat alone in the darkness, flashlight illuminating his nostrils. Fresh mucus dripping from the tip of his nose glowed in brilliance as it hung seemingly defying gravity and resembling that stuff that they put on credit cards when they mail them to people to stick to the paper. I think it is called boogers? Shaking almost to the point of convulsion, he was getting very tired. This state of vulnerability is where Mme Christine O'Donnell -the evil witch- wanted her powerful opponent to be.

"Mwaahahahahaha! So, I have found you alone, weak and vulnerable, with a snot ball hanging from the end of you nose. This is just where I wanted you. There is a devils alter just around the bend in the river, and we can go over there and make out, but I want you to lose the primary to me."  "Never" replied the noble and honest hero.
O'Donnell told him that was just what she expected and cast a spell on him chanting the words, "Obamacare kills, Obamacare kills" and poof, she walked away because she gave up witchcraft and had to turn in her broom.

Soon after this,  there was a Primary Election that Christine O'Donnell won as the Republican candidate.  That is when the nightmare began!  Mwaaahahahahahahahahaha!


God/Allah/Nobody Bless
Libby