Trick or What The Hell is This ??? (break out the TP)

So, I have calmed down enough to tell y'all about my experience Halloween, wait were we going with Xoween or HallowX?
Anywho,  here is what happened!  I was traveling as I sometimes do between the states, passport in hand, and had gone to one of the new states, Kenyatucky (#6 of the newest 57 United States).  There have been a lot of famous expatriots born here whose names end in neat stuff like Islam and Hussiniabad that become famous folk rock singers and what not.  Lots of sand feilds and some of those pretty oasises (although not Jackie).
I stopped at a BP station because I like to keep my American dollars spent with fine US companies whenever I can, and they had all kinds of good stuff to eat in there, like pickled eggs and a fine drink called Ale 8, and sort of pecular looking people.  The man behind the counter had a mullet hair cut and like 2 teeth, that were a funny shade of green.  Then I remember it is HalloX. I bought an egg and an Ale 8.  Told the guy "nice costume", to which he replied "Thank ya, Whut ya mean?"  I continued out the door.  Saw a normal looking lady and asked about Halloween activities (knew she wouldn't understand Xoween). She told me that the White House has a Kenyatucky branch in Farrakhanville, the state capitol.   I was so happy and put on my donkey suit and on my way was I.
I get there and was greeted warmly by some nice Black militants that were more than happy to help.  Went to the front door of the Palace there and said my trick or treat deal.  There was a lady in a Michelle Obama costume who looked at me cross eyed. I thought she was getting attitude, but after the station guy, maybe not?  Got to my car and found my bag full of this dried fruit shit.  WTF?? I want the good stuff, you know, $100 bills and diamonds and stuff.
This is a freakin branch of my man Obama's offices and he would be giving out the good stuff, screw this!  I get out the TP and those nice Black militants grabbed me around the chest and threw me to the ground, before I can get it around the first tree.  I told him my problem and after caressing my breast to heal it (that was not hurt to begin with but I thanked him anyway) he explained that Michelle said that that was what the White house was giving out this year, a healthy snack.  That Bitch.  I am gonna get her and steal her man if it is the last thing I ever do!  Well, enough for now.

God/Allah/Nobody Bless
Libby